It may have been the best compliment I have ever received. One of the young men I had been working with told me once, "until I met you, I never knew what it meant to have a father love a son. Now I can see, through you, how much God loves me." Wow. I was not only humbled, but overjoyed at what God had done in our discipleship relationship. 

Still, we didn't get there overnight. We spent a lot of time together. We hung out, we drank coffee (and beer) together. We ate together. We communicated electronically regularly. We prayed together. We challenged one another to grow in holiness. We had conversations about things that really mattered. We laughed. We had fun. We worked side-by-side.
Ultimately, he became my spiritual son.

These are some of the underpinnings of what a discipleship relationship looks like. It is an apprenticeship in the life of following Jesus. As the USCCB says:

"To create a culture of witness, we must live explicit lives of discipleship. Being a disciple is a challenge. Fortunately, one does not become a disciple of Christ on his or her own initiative. The work of the Holy Spirit within the Christian community forms the person as a disciple of Christ. One seeking to learn how to be a disciple of Christ does so through apprenticeship. Apprenticeship “links an experienced Christian believer, or mentor, with one who seeks a deeper relationship with Christ and the Church.” Apprenticeship is an essential element in witnessing to the Gospel message. Furthermore, this relationship is a “guided encounter with the entire Christian life, a journey toward conversion to Christ. It is a school for discipleship that promotes an authentic following of Christ based on the acceptance of one’s baptismal responsibilities, the internalization of the word of God, and the transformation of the whole person to ‘life in Christ.’"

What a great vision for discipleship and accompaniment as an apprenticeship into following Jesus. If there is an intial takeaway from this idea of discipleship relationships via apprenticeship, it is this - these kind of relationships are inefficient and take time. In fact, it might take years (see Jesus and his disciples for a reference). 

CATHOLIC APPRENTICESHIP
Sadly, we just don't have many of these kinds of relationships in our Church today. I once did an informal poll online, in a forum of top leaders in Catholic evangelization, and less than half (at best!) of these leaders have ever had someone mentor them as disciples. These are some of the top leaders in evangelization, in parishes and dioceses, in our country. This isn't even taking into account the average Catholic, wherein, we would probably find less than 1% of Catholics who have experienced such relationships. This is why so few Catholics have a discipleship relationship with others - because they have never been discipled themselves! We can't blame someone for not leading others, when they don't know what it is supposed to be like.

Think of the trades that have apprentices - such jobs as electricians, plumbers, carpenters, etc. You might be able to learn how to do some of the same things an electrician does by reading a book, attending a class, or being trained at a conference. But, to really learn how to be a good electrician, you need to learn from someone who has been there (and can teach you how to be safe from all the hazards, tricks of the trade, strategies to employ, etc). The same goes for being a good doctor, parent, etc. The best learning we can receive, in order to live out our call better, is done in real-life.

In discipleship, there should be a similar dynamic. You might be able to learn a lot about what it is like to follow Jesus from a book, a class, a program, or a conference. But, you will never really know until you are apprenticed by someone who is further along, on the journey of discipleship, than you are. Jesus put it this way:

I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  (John 13:35)

How did Jesus love his disciples? By living life with them for 3 years. For knowing them deeply, by teaching them, by being an example to them on how to live out their vocation. By holding them accountable. By challenging them. By training them. By forgiving them. By apprenticing them. By going to parties with them. By traveling with them. By being a leader for them and then commissioning them to do the same thing with others.

NEXT STEPS
We need to be doing the same, but we first ought to have someone else do it for us. The best and most natural way to grow as a disciple is to sit at the feet of a more mature disciple and let them be our example and lead. The Catechism speaks to this, when it says (in very strong language):

"The disciple of Christ must not only keep the faith and live on it, but also profess it, confidently bear witness to it, and spread it....Service of and witness to the faith are necessary for salvation." -CCC 1816

We need help to live out such a vision of discipleship. We need someone else who can help us learn how to do what Jesus and the Catholic Church call us to do. We need to be discipled and to disciple others.

**So, where do you start? Start by identifying the best Catholic leader you know. Do they evangelize? Are they fruitful? Are they prayerful? Are they virtuous? If you answer yes to these questions, then ask the Lord to help you have the boldness to talk to them about a possible discipleship relationship. If they know how to apprentice another, this may be the time to enter into such a relationship.

FYI - Catholic Missionary Disciples helps Catholic leaders deeply understand this way of operating, but even so - we cannot disciple others in our work with them. We can coach, train, lead, form, and more. But, there is no way to fully disciple another, without doing life with them. If you are a Catholic leader in a diocese or parish and want more information about how we operate, please contact us.

• If you are interested in more about discipleship relationships , here is a post on the key elements to a discipleship relationship.